Hi guys,
Hope you are all well and are having a good time. I am still in bed (well, as a matter of speaking) because I have done all sorts of things this morning but plonked right back on my bed again with my laptop and my IPAD beside me. My editor has sent back 'After the storm' and I have to go through it all over again, declining or accepting the changes she made (aargh!). I almost regret opting for line editing, it's as if I'm writing the book all over again. (Sigh!)
But anyhow, I did say we would talk about the topic 'kissing while dating'. What do you guys think? Is it okay to kiss your boy/girlfriend/fiancé/fiancée? And by kissing, I mean the 'lips to lips' genre and not pecks on the cheeks, forehead etc. Why do people kiss each other? Is it an expression/best expression of the love they feel for each other? At what point does it stop? Where does it usually take place?
Of course, from the story ('After the storm') that we have just finished, you guys know that I am a romantic at heart and I absolutely feel that there must be passion/chemistry between two people who are planning to live together for the rest of their lives but can one be passionate and yet remain pure in thoughts? Can kissing the person you love so much make your thoughts wander or is it just one of those things like holding hands, etc?
I would really like some feedback from you guys and all view points are welcome. Some people may even be rolling their eyes at this moment and going "Is Osar for real? This is the twenty first century for goodness sake, we 've moved past the kissing stage and are on to more serious stuff!" Yeah, if you feel that way too, please tell us why. Your views would also be highly appreciated.
By the way, I hereby ban the use of the word 'ma' on this blog (lol). You guys are being so very respectful and I totally appreciate it but you are also making me feel pretty senile and the last time I checked with my hubby, I was still very much his chick (lol). So in going forward, my name is Osar and you are very welcome to call me that.
Take care and looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Osar.
Take care and looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Osar.
12 comments:
Oh my God, am I seriously going to be first to comment on this topic, aaaaaaahhhhh😲😲. Guess I'll go think about it and come back later for feedback. Emma
Emma, don't you dare back off! (Lol). Please kindly tell us what you think. No one is on trial here and your views will be very appreciated.
Hello Osar 😀,
So kissing, Well, you know...lol
Is it a sin or not? I don't know. But I've just made a decision (recently) not to when that time comes. I made this decision because I think my kind of person may not really know when to stop and seeing as fornication is an impossibility for me, I'll rather not start what I cannot finish.
Also God looks at he heart and not just the action. So I think the question should really be 'what's the reason behind it?' 'Where is your heart at that time, are you already fornicating on your mind?'
Ah, don't av answer o seriously, but one thing I know is dt, "kissing leads to something, whether physically or emotionally
going by the scripture, 1 cor 6:15, and of course our lips is part of our body here.
so, for me Kissing as a christian is a no no. as simple as that! we may try to justify in a lot of ways that "am not caressing, or having sex" and all that, but then, accommodating kissing is just the beginning to other stuffs.
Been there. i remembered the first time i kissed my fiancee, connecting back to my maker was so hard cos my conscience was literally killing me, i eventually asked for forgiveness and i believed i was forgiven, the second time was not as hard, as i was quick to connect back to God, the following times was just normal and i think if i wasn't that strong in the lord, moving on to having sex wasn't far.
Having kissing on the menu isn't leading a christ-like life. ***this is my opinon entirely***
I personally believe kissing should be avoided in courtship because; 1. It arouses other emotions you might not be able to control once started which might eventually lead to sex. 2. It sends the wrong signals, for instance if you feel you are so 'strong' and can control yourself, it can lead those not 'as strong as you' astray.
Bible says flee from every appearance of evil which means it should not be encouraged.However people in relationship kiss and it is your will power that determines the extent you go just like Yemi in the last story.I kiss in my relationship but i have never allow it to lead to sex
it has gone beyond kissing many times but never sex.In my own case ,i made up my mind that no sex before marriage.
The truth is that total abstinence is the main thing.Men always request for this out of their own selfishness by saying you don't love them as you claim even the born again brothers.
Right now,no kissing again.
And at the end of the day,they respect you for your stand
Thanks a lot, Anonymous. I really appreciate your taking time to comment on this topic. I have three comments now with 'anonymous' as ID, are you the same person that made the very first anonymous comment?
no,not the same person
Thanks to everyone that left a comment and I really respect the sincerity of the comments.
Kissing is not a sin but it does have a very high tendency to lead to sin and I believe it is better avoided while dating. Having Sex/fornicating is not necessarily the physical act itself'. You can do it (very easily) in your thoughts and many people do so even if their kissing/touchy feely sessions didn't lead to physical sex.
Secondly, any guy/lady that is using emotional blackmail to get you do things that dishonour/break God's law does not really love you. He/she is bound to make other demands/disappoint you in future and it is better you bid such a person Godspeed now rather than regret it later. Such frogs will never turn to princes no matter how many kisses you give them. Your real prince/princess will come soon and he/she will respect you and God. So 'chillax' and save your next kiss for your spouse!
Yemi in ''After the storm' was not born again when she was dating Akeem so I don't think her actions can be used as a good example of what a believer should do but Teju (Sesan's born again sister) told Yemi that she and her fiancé had made up their minds not to do any kissing/touchy feely until after they were married.
But I believe you can still refrain from it all even if you are not a Christian. What's the rush anyway and just imagine how many frogs you have to kiss before you meet your prince. I bet you may even kissing the wrong frog right now! Just make up your mind to wait until the right 'HE/SHE' comes along, go down the aisle with the person and you will be free to do anything you like. Moreover the person is going to respect you so much more too.
Rejoinders to this comment are very welcome.
Yes , kissing might not be a sin but you don't know the motive of the other person. Our thoughts are made bare before God.
Personally I don't subscribe to kissing in s relationship. Define your relationship from the start. If truly you want your relationship to honor God, allow the Holy spirit to lead you and follow his leading.
Post a Comment